Gyaan Paapi….

connecting with fellow sinners! :D!

Timepaas..

Posted by Arijit on July 14, 2007

It was almost 7 in the evening.  She could hear the kids creating a ruckus next door. The noise was irritating her. She was nervous. The wait was getting unbearable. She had to calm herself, she thought. This was no time to get nervous and have goose bums. After all, it was how she wanted it to be. The decision was made. Death was the only option. She had been troubled for far too long.It was time to get it done with. She could see the opening right in front of her. The timing was always around 7 . Dhe had been noticing it for a while now. And hence the wait. With the bat in her hand she waited.

The freakin rat had to die today. Dammit.. !!

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Tremors of a particular interest..

Posted by Arijit on June 26, 2007

Q: Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?


Ans:   If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day’s Tremor and eventually cause the earth’s crust to break apart and float into space. This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time. 🙂 🙂  …     
Now a rejoinder from our side.. 😉 !!       

That is also why skirts were invented. However this plan nearly failed after it was found that the tight skirts made the girls jump while wearing them thus defeating their purpose. To work around this problem skirts are now made shorter to maintain the stability of the earths crust. As population increases the length has to be continually decreased to keep everything in balance. Scientists are “closely” monitoring the situation. .. 😀

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Ah.. Dont mind.. ;)

Posted by Arijit on April 24, 2007

Here’s an old classic limerick for you:

There was this lady from Madras,
Who had a really beautiful ass,
It was not round and pink,
As you might think,

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass! 

Aye, you’ve got a dirty mind, jackass. 😉

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Rich Man , Poor Man… ;P

Posted by Arijit on April 23, 2007

Excerpts from a recent newsreport:

 “Mumbai beggars worth Rs 180 crore  Press Trust Of  India

    Posted Thursday , July 20, 2006 at 11:39

Mumbai: Beggars in Mumbai earn Rs 180 crore a year, the state legislative council was informed on Wednesday.Stating this in the House, Minister of State for Social Justice Dharmaraobaba Atram said amendments will be made in existing rules to curb beggars’ activities in the city.Vilas Awchat of Shiv Sena,Pic, who raised the issue through a short discussion, said according to the provisions of legislation enacted in 1959 to curb begging, those who sought relief for people affected by disasters could also be prosecuted.

Once this flaw was realised, necessary amendments were made, he said.The number of beggars in Mumbai, which was 20,000 in 1963, rose to three lakh in 2004, he said.

I have read of isolated cases even earlier. But these kind of figures really are an eye-opener. And these are just Government figures mind you. And that too only for the city of Mumbai. It is sad that even giving alms to the poor has been made into an organised form of fooling people. There maybe lots of needy families out there on the streets. But after knowing this, we will definitely think thrice before helping them in any manner. For all we know, the so-called beggar can buy-off a new gizmo for himself before you can even hope for it.. ;P !!

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In response to the ladies….

Posted by Arijit on April 19, 2007

Hmm… Thought i might as well post our reply to the ladies… =D!!  Had a draft . Just edited it up.. 😉

[     Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money. Suddenly an idea struck him.

 He told the beggar, “I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.”

“I would have bought a cup of tea”, replied the beggar.

The man said, “Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of  tea”. He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, “I don’t smoke as it is injurious to health.

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, “Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good”.

The beggar refused by saying, “Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver”.

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, “I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone”.

 As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, “Sorry sir, I can’t come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.”

Suddenly the man felt relieved !!

“Well”,said the man,”I’m not going to give you the money.Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my wife and myself tonight”.

The beggar was astounded and his face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, “Why do you want me to go to your house with you. wont your wife be furious with you for doing that?”.

The man replied…………………………………………. 

“Nah.. Thats okay. Its important for my wife to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like.”  … ]

 🙂 ….. Lol.. 

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Look how they can twist it…..

Posted by Arijit on April 19, 2007

Just came across this one the other day.. ;P..

[        A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No,” I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked.

“No,” I don’t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.” ]  ….

      Cant beat ’em in twisting the arms.. rite!!.. ;P

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Hopes in faraway land…

Posted by Arijit on April 18, 2007

Read the tragic news of the Indian student Minal Panchal being shot dead in the Virginia Tech shootout yesterday. She was just 26 years old. A first year student. Just thinking about the family coping with the sudden collossal loss. It will probably take them days to just get there to attend to her last rites.

Just makes me think of the huge number of people who leave their homes in the hope of making it worthwhile in life. Its not easy for them to leave their loved ones and go off to an entirely unknown territory.Just carrying their hopes of making it big. And when something extremely unfortunate like this happens, it does make us wonder about it all. Not just students, there are a whole lot of people who go off long distances to make a career. This is surely not the way it should end.

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Celebrating New Year again..

Posted by Arijit on April 17, 2007

It was the Bong New Year last Sunday.. Also for the Mallus who were celebrating the Vishu festival.. Shubho Noboborsho to all ya buggers out thr..  🙂 Called up all relatives during the day,else would have been marked for the year ;P. And then we had a Bong gathering at BTM in the evening. One of my school friend’s from Kolkata volunteered to invite ppl to his shack. The gol-gaal bongs gathered late as usual. But then kicked up the Adda. Sweets and Samosas went down by the dozens. :D. And along they went singing through the evening… Was good fun.

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Week after the Cup defeat..

Posted by Arijit on March 26, 2007

People are pissed off majorly. Its been more than 3 days. The discussions still going on. A couple of my friends from Kolkata went to temple to pray for the players to get punished… They didn’t tell me what punishment they would want. Nobody knows what exactly to do. But everyone seems to agree that somebody should pay. Who are at fault? The coach? Lets leave poor Greg alone. After all, what does he do if players with experience of more than 300 matches come up with such a shameful display.Players? To some extent yes. They are considered professionals with huge experience.. If they lose to Bangladesh, then of course they deserve to get kicked on their backside in public. But more than that maybe its us who are to blame; We, who put these morons on such high pedestals and then get so disappointed in every other tournament. Still, we don’t learn, do we?  Its a cycle that will go on. Then why do we behave this way after every major defeat? We’ll be back singing their tunes again in no time. So, better i stop bothering about how people are behaving right now after the defeat.

My Boss at work has vowed never to leave office early again to watch a match. He was hopping mad after the loss.I dare the players to come meet him.. ;P .  The worst part is the news from the Mumbai Income tax commissioner the other day on TV that some business houses in collusion werein a long way responsible in deciding who all should be part of the team. Seems, there are lots of things that happen behind the scenes that we wouldn’t even be aware of in normal situations. Its a sad commentary on the way things have always been let to happen around us. We have only ourselves to blame.

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Domination of outer space!

Posted by Arijit on January 25, 2007

      Now comes the news that China tested a missile to blow man-made satellites out of their orbit! And the US testing high energy lazers to achieve the same from the ground-station. I bet Russia will be coming out with their own version soon.Where are we going to end up? Maybe we’ll create a total mess out here and then fly off to complete wars in space..huh! or maybe they’ll go fight in Mars. We’ll be much better off doing it the old-fashioned way. Let them challenge each other for a duel. And then for the venue, decide on Pluto! Farther they go, better. As it is , ordinary men vested with the power of making wild decisions on flimsy pretexts are the most dangerous.

Btw, there is the Annual aero-show in B’lore on 7-11 Feb. Planning to go for it over that weekend. They’ll have both static and Flying displays of variety of aircrafts. I guess it’ll be fun to watch.. 🙂

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